Crafting Your Narrative

Too many people believe that their past is indicative of their future performance.  Even financial investments carry a disclaimer that past performance does not mean future performance will be equal, so why do people still feel the same will be their future?  

That’s exactly what we talk about in this episode of the “MOJO: The Meaning of Life & Business” podcast with my guest, Tim Croll.  Listen in and see what you have been telling yourself and perhaps if it’s time for a change in your outlook.  

About Tim: In a world of boring leadership and strategy sessions…. One man stands alone, connecting the complex strategies into easy-to-understand practical applications.  Tim was a contestant on LEGO Masters Season 2 (one of the highest watched reality shows) and this gave him the opportunity to share many of his life experiences, tying together the knowledge of leadership with the wisdom of action. Tim has owned his own business, worked in the corporate world, and built eCommerce companies into multi-million dollar monthly businesses.  But the passion Tim holds is how to inspire individuals to grow both in their personal and professional lives. To find their purpose and pursue it with all their energy. This impact on others is what motivates and drives Tim’s decisions and actions.  

Connect with Tim on social: Facebook | LinkedIn | Web: https://www.timcroll.com

Transcript (auto-generated; may contain errors):

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Hello and welcome to another episode of MOJO: The Meaning of Life & Business

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On today’s program we’re going to be talking about your narrative a lot of people think they’re narrative.

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Is Well, i’m good at this i’m good at that i’m not good at that.

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The problem. when you’re thinking about your narrative and believing in the false narrative is that it has a really big potential to really drive you way off.

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Course, the problem when that happens is you’ll end up not taking action, you end up being a victim of circumstance.

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You end up being in a position that you really don’t want to find yourself in, and so on.

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Today’s program. i’ve got a really incredible guest and you’re going to find out why in just a moment.

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Why, Tim is so that’s an amazing person bring tim on though, let me share a little bit about Tim just so that you know why he really is that great guy in a world of boring leadership and strategy sessions one man stands

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alone connecting the complex strategies into easy to understand practical applications.

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The experience that sorry Tim has been a contestant on Lego, master.

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Season 2, and it afforded Tim the opportunity to share many of his life experiences the knowledge of leadership with the wisdom of action.

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Tim has owned his own business, worked in a corporate world, and built e-commerce companies into multi-million dollar businesses.

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The passion Tim truly holds, though, is how to inspire individuals to grow.

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In their personal and professional lives the finer purpose, and pursue it with all their energy.

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This impact on others is what motivates and drives Tim and his decisions and actions. Mr.

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Lego, Master Tim, Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you.

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We man, I I love hearing that thing because it just kinda adds that unique, this you know, in a world where I just did so much, wanted to be able to do that have fun and not take ourselves.

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Too seriously. So thank you for having me on I really appreciate i’m looking forward to this conversation as well Oh, absolutely.

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And I really want to thank you for being on the show.

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So let me ask you, just in terms of Lego Masters.

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I mean to get on a show like Lego Masters takes a lot of focus.

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And again, your personal belief, your narrative, yeah, is really involved in helping you.

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Say I am someone who can get on the show or i’m someone who can’t.

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Can you walk us through some of those ideas that were going through your own mind during the casting process for the show?

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It. it’s interesting cause I talk about the narrative all the time.

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And about how we craft our narratives and how there’s a false narrative out there in the world versus what the real narrative is in our own minds, and how we were created to be and how we

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were created to show up. Yeah, i’m victim of my own. I talk out of experience, and I I wanna share that because I am not perfect.

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So I would say this, especially as we walk through the

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The application process. I was on with my son. so we were a team, so both of us going, and we had this kind of a shared back and forth after we would do our different interviews, and to be quite frank, with you we never really

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truly expected to get on to the show we didn’t expect to actually be chosen to be on the show.

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So after each of the interviews we actually looked at that and said, Well, I don’t think we’re gonna go any further.

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And then we did, and then we ended up actually being chosen to be on the show.

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But the one thing, and this is what really comes down to it.

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And this is what I told my son as far as the practical, and the action application of the narrative is no matter what we’re going to show up as our true selves, because, if they choose us I want it to be

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based on the choice of the narrative. that we’ve created, not the narrative that they wanted us to form, or the narrative that they wanted to push upon.

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Us absolutely. And it’s really important to be yourself because like you said, If you’re not, then when somebody is going to be meeting you on video for the first time or on Tv in this case, it’s going to come off a little

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bit disjointed because you’re going to be you’re feeling uneasy about yourself, and everything that you’re going to be doing is going to be coming off differently than if you were really yourself because think about like somebody who’s

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dating right. the rules of dating you have the first date and the second date.

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You’re Like absolute best behavior and I know even you know for women.

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It’s even what foods are you allowed to eat on the first or second date, and you have to wait until much later.

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Right Anything with sauce, anything that’s going to get on your face, anything along those lines?

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You’re certainly waiting until long into the relationship before there’s any kind of

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Oh, my God! did I actually have something you know right here, and so it’s all of those kinds of things, And so your own narrative, even in the dating world, forget the business world.

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You kind of get all of those feelings in a way that’s really impacting your ability to be your true self, and to know is the other person the right one for you or not just because of this And in business it’s really the

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same, because when we’re in business we’re right you know we’re trying to figure out is this the right person for me to do this as well. business is a relationship, too, as one of my mentors said, you don’t go

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over to a person in a coffee shop and say, I want to marry you the very first time you meet them.

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Yeah, it’s so true and if I may cause I i’m just to kind of date myself.

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I i’ve been married to my wife now we’re going on 27 years.

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So I haven’t been in the dating world very hard for a long, long time.

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Let me put it that way. And so I even in this whole narrative aspect. one of the things and this honestly permeates every part of my life, including the way that I’ve taught my kids about dating and the way that

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I approach dating. So this whole narrative. thing it’s not something that is just that I talk about, but actually live, breathe, and it’s it permeates every aspect.

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And so in the dating world, my brain in the dating world.

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When I was doing that thing back 30 years ago, before the apps and everything else.

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I always wanted to. if I was gonna date somebody I wanted to be in their friend group first, cause I wanted to see how they treated everybody else before we were officially dating or before we were officially in a relationship cause just like you said I mean when you’re

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in the very first step of the dating thing you kind of put this facade on, or you have certain rules that you have to adhere to.

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And again it’s socially acceptable but if you were if you knew that person.

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If you actually followed their narrative as far as how they were acting with everybody else, and you were able to kind of work into their friend group.

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Now take it with the green salt because I know not everybody can do that.

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And it’s. This is just like I said this is an example of how the narrative really it permeates everything that I do, and whether it’s the Lego master, or business or my own personal life, it really comes down to are you

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living authenticly and true to how you were created to live

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Yeah, and it’s very much in that regard and good for you 27 years, I mean Brava.

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You know that’s incredible. I was married to my ex for a little under 11 years, and totally different story.

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But you really need to be thinking about how you are So to let me ask you, when we’re looking at crafting our narrative and getting rid of that negative piece of how we feel we need to be looking at a lot of

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different areas as it relates to that process so I Guess the first question is, if we’re looking at crossing that narrative, we shut that voice up that’s always in our mind saying, you’re not worthy or whatever it may be and again, it’s that

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imposter syndrome. , Yeah. And I would. I would classify this.

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And I think we can take this conversation. I would classify it into 2 arenas.

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The first arena is your belief system that you have developed through your growing up years or your developmental stage, and quite frankly, from what I’ve read as far as scientific and i’m not a psychologist or anything along those

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lines. but from what i’ve read most of our beliefs are formed by the age of 10, in other words, we have the beliefs on how we live our lives, and who we are, and how we were created, and all those things, most of

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that belief has been formed by the age of 10; and therefore, if we look at it from that perspective, there are certain things.

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If you look at it from this way, let me let me kind of rephrase this.

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When you look at it from this way, the family environment that you grew up in, you believe that every other family grew up in that exact same environment.

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Your neighbors are exactly the same way as the way that you were raised.

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If you move across the country, everybody that you move into that new community was raised exactly the same way that you were raised. and that’s just not the way it is. so.

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I’ll give you a good example of that kind of in a belief. as I was growing up, I was taught, and we we basically did not celebrate our birthdays.

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It was just something that wasn’t celebrated in our family so I formed a belief very young that birthdays are not important.

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Fast forward to get married. My wife! we have our first child.

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She goes out she buys a bunch of decorations spends a bunch of money, and next thing I know i’m just like what what the heck are you doing?

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We just spent a couple of $100 on birthdays she’s like.

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Well, we always celebrate birthdays. So her family had a belief that birthdays were something special.

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It was a special day. you made that person feel special and that I’m.

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Such a minor example. but if we start to dig in it, it starts to tell us, and show us some of that core belief of who we are.

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And then again, it goes right directly towards the the self-confidence that impostor Syndrome all starts to speak towards that.

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So the biggest thing that we can do is to discover what it is that we believe about ourselves.

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What are those truths that we adopted throughout our age?

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And then you have to actually take that next step and discern.

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Is that a true belief? or is that a false belief?

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Or, in other words, is that a true narrative or is it a false narrative, because there was a really strong, hard working ethic that I was raised in and under, and that’s a true thing that’s a true belief that’s a

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true narrative where you give a 110% when you’re working.

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You be respectful There’s some really good things that came out of my growing up years that fed into my narrative that are true, and that I want to keep.

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But I have to come to that point of saying, Okay, I need to identify the circumstances.

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The situations that created this belief. And then, as an adult, I basically go back and analyze.

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Is that a through narrative? or is that a false narrative?

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Is that something that I want to accept and keep into my life?

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As I move forward? or is it a false scenario that somebody else had?

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They were placing in on me and there’s there’s A. I could go through a 100 examples of these kinds of things, but that arena that first arena is the belief arena and and being able to identify those

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narratives that were spoken into your life all the way up through your development stages.

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So the development process, like you say, is really important between 6 and 10 is typically the ages when our beliefs are firmly I’m set.

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And in terms of how do we deal with things? And it feels even think about money as an example.

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A lot of people when we were young. If we didn’t come from the millionaire billionaire community.

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We had working class parents. We have a problem with money. We are so averse to money.

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We like having money, because it allows us to do things but we’re afraid to ask for money.

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We’re afraid to charge higher prices we’re afraid to do a lot of those things because of those limiting beliefs that we were taught consciously as kids.

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So when we’re now adults and we’re dealing with those fallouts of those beliefs, we need to remove those issues as well.

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And here’s a really interesting way to think about this and I want

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Everyone who’s listening I want you to think about this for a moment.

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Have you saw somebody holding a wad of money and they’re kissing it and Saying I love money. I love money.

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I love money. Are you going to support them? Are you going to feel turned off by that?

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My bet is that you probably feel turned off by that because Oh, that’s disgusting.

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Why are they kissing money? How can they do that it’s inappropriate?

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I wanna flip the table for a second. Now somebody is pissing their kids and saying, Well, I love my kids.

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I love my kids. I love my kids you’re gonna completely be in support of that, because we’re taught we’re supposed to love our family.

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And so if what you’re dealing with is all of a sudden now, yeah, this is what I want.

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It’s different where’s the difference between family and money again.

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It goes back to that core belief that we had when we were kids. So like Tim, you were saying in terms of recognizing what some of those false beliefs are.

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Some of those limiting narratives, false narratives that we have, we need to remove those obstacles in order to create new neural pathways us to start having a better outcome.

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Right, I a 100%. But here’s the challenge that I run into, especially when I talk to individuals as I coach them as I work through.

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That is so often we throw the baby out with the bathwater.

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Right. so we look at it from the perspective of all the beliefs that we’ve had as a child if we can’t.

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If there’s a one false. narrative in that one piece, then we throw everything else that we’ve been taught by either our parents or society, or whatever else is.

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But that’s not the case is the case is the fact that there are a lot of good things in that. so we have to be careful as we’re going and defining who we are creating our narrative.

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The crafting. our narrative is that we don’t just all of a sudden.

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Go call going off the deep end where we just go completely on the other side of things, and we throw out some of the priorities and some of the more responsibilities that we have as human beings that I don’t know if that

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makes sense or not but that’s that’s the one danger that I see a lot of times, especially in our society.

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Right Now, as kids are maturing, it’s almost like the pendulum has swung from one side to a completely to the other side, and that’s not that’s not healthy, either.

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You know it’s like no responsibility all responsibility Well, no there’s this happy medium between those 2 and the same thing of, and the same thing comes in and and around the narrative.

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That we’re talking about so I i’ll use this other as an example, when we were on the the Lego masters.

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The thing that really hit me hard in a way that it kind of just came front and center was the amount of producers that are actually involved in creating a show, And it’s just the way that Hollywood works You’ve got

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executives. You got assistant producers and you’ve got story producers.

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You got a whole list if you watch the end of the credits you’ll see all of the list of producers.

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They’re all there to build a story in and around what they want of you as a character, even though it’s you know real live, Tv, real people.

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They’re all there to build that character same thing in the movies.

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You have the wardrobe with the makeup and the I mean voice actor, I mean, there’s so much stuff that goes into creating and crafting the narrative for a movie.

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And yet we don’t spend hardly any time cracking and creating our narrative that we need to be able to be fulfilled to live out the rest of our lives.

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And I I wanna be really clear about that because it’s it this takes work.

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It’s not something that you wake up one day and Suddenly it’s just like, Yeah, I got my narrative.

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I know exactly what it honestly takes years to kind of develop and work. and then what we just talked about as far as the the belief patterns like you just said with the money that’s been programmed into us, and even if you completely want to break

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that false narrative. you’ll find yourself going right back into that, And you realize, like, Oh, this is something that I’ve been taught.

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This is a belief that i’ve patterned and i’ve got for myself.

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I mean i’m approaching almost 50 years i’ve got decades of patterns of actions.

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When something happens I do this when this happens, I do this you know and there’s different decades of that kind of framework in our belief systems that we have to look at and be careful, and then constantly be readjusted i’m

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not sure if that was exactly so, I apologize I I was trying to take what you were saying in the conversation, and make sure that I I I added to it. but i’m not sure I did that you definitely did and it’s really

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important, and you shared just in terms of again those neural synapses.

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, This happened. You act that way that happened. it produces another reaction, and again, it’s because we are our brains have evolved over time to act just like we know we see a red light, and we’re driving.

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We know it means stop right we see a green light it means go so our brains don’t have to think .

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It’s an immediate action So our brains Have evolved to accommodate for those reactions. The problem is like you’re saying, with all of those false narratives.

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Now we need to take a step back, and we need to say, wait a second.

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I used to act this way when that happened, but I need now need to act a different way.

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With the same stimuli that’s happening and so that’s where those reactions and those narratives need to have that shift.

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So I guess when we’re looking, then tim at how we get from here to there, right If we’re gonna say , right, I want to find a way to say I have to change something , right?

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What is it that maybe even tells me that before we get to the how?

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What is it that tells me? time to make that change in that narrative, and the belief that we have unfortunately it’s usually burnout or breakdown?

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And I I hate to say that but 9 times out of 10 an individual has to experience the burnout the breakdown of living a false narrative before they’re able to identify the fact that they’d been living under that

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false narrative. and this this shows up in a lot of different ways.

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And again, This is trying to bring awareness to some of the mental health aspects, and I am not psychologists in any way.

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But i’ve seen so many examples of business owners what I call imploding after they’ve had a successful business growth or a successful business year, because they haven’t taken the time to be able to develop the foundational aspects of your of

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your leadership, and but develop the foundational aspects of your narrative. And so they live underneath this pressure.

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And unfortunately so many times that burnout in that breakdown happening.

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Unfortunately, that ends up being the the trigger effect that starts this process of I need to do better.

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I need to be better it it doesn’t have to be a massive breakdown. but sometimes there are significant breakdowns in that, and I hate to say that.

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But unfortunately, that’s how it is so I wish we could get to a better thing like a better trigger.

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I wish we could get to a point of saying Well, I see these signs happening.

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You just don’t know how to read the signs when you’re on that end of it.

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You don’t you don’t understand that you’re draining yourself emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

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You don’t realize you’re doing that because you bought into that false narrative. You believe that false narrative to be true, and therefore everything’s gonna work out right so I I I wish I wish I had a

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different answer. but I really believe that to be the answer I think it’s most similar to when you are the horses in Central Park, and they’ve got the blinders on so they can’t see the cars and everything around.

00:21:19.000 –> 00:21:36.000
There too many times we’re going around as though we’ve got those blinders on our cells, and we don’t know how to get out of our own way like you said until that breakdown or burnout happens but sometimes, though I

00:21:36.000 –> 00:21:44.000
would even posit that it’s possibly when you’re really trying to just get out of certain habits.

00:21:44.000 –> 00:21:52.000
Yes, great. You think about it this way. We know that it takes about 30 days to make a habit.

00:21:52.000 –> 00:21:59.000
Take hold lot of times. people do near’s resolutions right i’m gonna lose weight.

00:21:59.000 –> 00:22:03.000
I’m going to save more money i’m gonna go on more dates.

00:22:03.000 –> 00:22:10.000
I’m gonna read more books i’m gonna whatever I’m gonna i’m gonna write there’s so many things that we want to do.

00:22:10.000 –> 00:22:15.000
The problem is, I was at too often we’re making these in a vacuum.

00:22:15.000 –> 00:22:26.000
We’re not accounting? for life we’re not accounting for all of these other situations, when we also, though look at what is it that we really want?

00:22:26.000 –> 00:22:36.000
What is it that we can really focus on doesn’t have to be a breakdown or burnout, as much as it is, you have to want what it is that you want.

00:22:36.000 –> 00:22:45.000
And sometimes it’s making that individual change and saying I am going to commit to myself stuff for the next 30 days.

00:22:45.000 –> 00:23:00.000
I am going to be different. I am going to do something different from what I’ve been doing in the past, because, as the old saying goes, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over, and over, and expecting different results

00:23:00.000 –> 00:23:08.000
if you keep doing it, and it’s not working How is that gonna change right?

00:23:08.000 –> 00:23:14.000
Something’s gotta give. Yeah, I I think it comes down to a desire for clarity, right?

00:23:14.000 –> 00:23:24.000
So if we’re gonna say like I I think that extreme case of like, like, I just said in regards to the breakdowns and that kind of thing the other aspect, and the minor thing that maybe in as i’m kind of talking this through with

00:23:24.000 –> 00:23:30.000
you. I I love that aspect, but I really think just like you said it’s those blinders so often we have blind spots again.

00:23:30.000 –> 00:23:41.000
How some of it’s created because of the belief system that we live in, and we didn’t know that we were acting or hurting somebody in a way that that was what it was until somebody sets a light on that blind spot and suddenly

00:23:41.000 –> 00:23:45.000
Now we’re aware of it, so we can make that adjustment that is clarity.

00:23:45.000 –> 00:23:48.000
Once you find that clarity and you realize that there’s a challenge.

00:23:48.000 –> 00:23:56.000
Now you have the ability to change and adjust that where that that habit, that action in and around that awareness, and finding that clarity?

00:23:56.000 –> 00:24:00.000
But like I said that the and I remember I said too.

00:24:00.000 –> 00:24:06.000
There’s 2 arenas so maybe this is a good time to transition before we go into the how first you have that belief system.

00:24:06.000 –> 00:24:14.000
But I will also. I would also say that the second piece of that is this social narrative that’s been put upon us as well.

00:24:14.000 –> 00:24:24.000
And what I mean by that is, if you, especially since the advent of Facebook Instagram, you you name it All the different social media is out there.

00:24:24.000 –> 00:24:37.000
There has been one underlying theme that has been pressed upon us in and around the social world, and that is, everybody’s life is perfect.

00:24:37.000 –> 00:24:50.000
And so, therefore, since everybody’s life is perfect and mine is not, I need to keep my messes, my challenges, my weaknesses, I need to keep all of those hit and that narrative right there.

00:24:50.000 –> 00:24:55.000
I think, has had more damage to our society than any other belief, narrative, or anything else.

00:24:55.000 –> 00:25:04.000
It’s just that whole aspect of the way that we present ourselves out there on social media is all in and around that perfection.

00:25:04.000 –> 00:25:13.000
We only show the good times we don’t show the negative We don’t show the bad, and that lead and I would. I would even say this, too, and I’ve done this in front of crowds.

00:25:13.000 –> 00:25:20.000
I would ask them. Does anybody believe that and everybody in their heads immediately knows that that’s not true, because everybody’s got flaws right.

00:25:20.000 –> 00:25:24.000
Everybody’s got message everybody’s got all of these challenges that they deal with.

00:25:24.000 –> 00:25:28.000
But in our hearts we believe that and so therefore we don’t share our messages.

00:25:28.000 –> 00:25:40.000
We don’t share all the challenges that we’ve been working through, and that creates this whole aspect of if I can’t share. That means i’m the only one going through it, which means I’m alone, and that to me

00:25:40.000 –> 00:25:45.000
frankly, that’s the biggest liar society has ever placed on us is that you’re the only one going through it.

00:25:45.000 –> 00:25:50.000
In fact, I would even contend and say that is the only lie that’s going to destroy you.

00:25:50.000 –> 00:25:57.000
It’s the only lie that’s going to totally create a like a mere desk experience kind of a thing.

00:25:57.000 –> 00:26:06.000
So, anyway, i’ll leave at that cause I don’t want to be too dramatic. But but yeah, that is, that’s the social aspect, and we have to be really careful about what we take in and what we believe.

00:26:06.000 –> 00:26:14.000
And what we listen to from news and social media and outlets like that we just, we’ve got too much of it, that’s all.

00:26:14.000 –> 00:26:24.000
It’s just too much of it, I would even though take a take it a little bit further, and say even before social media in that.

00:26:24.000 –> 00:26:32.000
Look at the Beauty Magazine, Robert Barbie Barbie is the size 0.

00:26:32.000 –> 00:26:43.000
The beauty magazines, the photo air brushing and everything that they do to make the models look perfect. it’s told, especially young girls.

00:26:43.000 –> 00:26:51.000
You have to look a certain way, because otherwise you’re not going to be the definition of pretty according to society.

00:26:51.000 –> 00:27:00.000
And so it creates even more of those anxiety provoking points that we become filled with.

00:27:00.000 –> 00:27:04.000
So even going back before social, and even more now with social.

00:27:04.000 –> 00:27:11.000
And you know, Are you in with the right groups? And how are you as kids?

00:27:11.000 –> 00:27:14.000
Even I. I know that my kids Do you have a cell phone?

00:27:14.000 –> 00:27:20.000
Do you not have a cell phone? Are you gonna be in with the group chats from your classes?

00:27:20.000 –> 00:27:24.000
Are you going to be doing this for you? not doing that?

00:27:24.000 –> 00:27:30.000
And so all of these things become part of that narrative that ultimately leads to.

00:27:30.000 –> 00:27:38.000
How does some of that happen? and how does some of that get to a certain point also?

00:27:38.000 –> 00:27:45.000
Look. then, when we’re realizing that we need to make a change, we have that choice.

00:27:45.000 –> 00:27:50.000
We said right. This is when we’re gonna do it we burnt out.

00:27:50.000 –> 00:28:02.000
We broke down We made that conscious decision we’re going to do something start making that life altering change, because that’s really what it is.

00:28:02.000 –> 00:28:10.000
It’s moving from here to here a zigzag, and we have a huge 180 degree turn that Sometimes we need to do.

00:28:10.000 –> 00:28:23.000
How do we even start? I I frankly believe the number One step is finding somebody, cause I don’t think that this is something that we are going to be able to do all in and of yourself.

00:28:23.000 –> 00:28:26.000
Remember we talked about the blind spots and we talked about some of the beliefs and some of the things.

00:28:26.000 –> 00:28:32.000
You’re gonna want to find a mentor you’re gonna want to find somebody that is a little bit further down the road.

00:28:32.000 –> 00:28:46.000
And I know this sounds extreme in some cases, but the the power of finding somebody that you trust and you resonate with that power gives you the ability to become and find the things that you need clarity on to find the steps that you need to

00:28:46.000 –> 00:28:50.000
do to be able to take that action, to be able to do things.

00:28:50.000 –> 00:28:54.000
Now I can give you some practices. I can give you some worksheets.

00:28:54.000 –> 00:29:07.000
I can do some of that. but in the end of the day having an accountability, I’ll call them accountability partner, but having somebody that’s an mentor, somebody that’s willing to speak into your life to allow you to grow is

00:29:07.000 –> 00:29:12.000
what gives gives you the it’s like having a great coach a good coach.

00:29:12.000 –> 00:29:23.000
What they do is they draw the greatness out of you that’s what a good coach does, And so as you as that coach draws that greatness out of you that’s Why, it’s so important and unfortunately in our society day we

00:29:23.000 –> 00:29:29.000
have a lot of Gurus and coaches and mentors and they’re just in it for the buck That’s not what I’m talking about.

00:29:29.000 –> 00:29:43.000
I’m talking about somebody that has a deep faith in you as an individual that’s going to inspire encourage and just build you up as an individual. That’s that’s the very very first step is finding that that mentor I get you

00:29:43.000 –> 00:29:58.000
can use Guru sherpa whatever you want to call him, but find that individual that you can resonate and have that deep relationship with that will take you on this journey, and so that’s really important in terms.

00:29:58.000 –> 00:30:10.000
Of having that guide but here’s the other thing to keep in mind also, if you’re looking at losing weight, don’t look for somebody who is in the same point like you were saying Tim a little bit ahead of where you

00:30:10.000 –> 00:30:23.000
are you want to find someone who’s going to really say listen I’m not going to accept your bs that you can’t get upset this morning for us to go walking right I mean look for the guy who’s training for the

00:30:23.000 –> 00:30:28.000
Marathon, not for the one who’s a £100 overweight, just like you.

00:30:28.000 –> 00:30:34.000
You want to stop smoking. don’t team up with another smoker and say, we’re going to quit together.

00:30:34.000 –> 00:30:40.000
You need to be with somebody who’s at that end stage but you see where you can get to.

00:30:40.000 –> 00:30:48.000
Not where you are now, because it’s really easy to simply say i’m not ready to take that step right now.

00:30:48.000 –> 00:30:56.000
And so a lot of things definitely start to be an issue as you’re dealing with it, and going from there.

00:30:56.000 –> 00:31:02.000
Now, though, that we have more that how we’re going to do it, and we know what the Y is.

00:31:02.000 –> 00:31:07.000
We understand. we need it for our health. we need it for our success.

00:31:07.000 –> 00:31:14.000
We need a priority. We need it for the people around us, right as Simon.

00:31:14.000 –> 00:31:18.000
Yeah, I I would say this because this really sums it up.

00:31:18.000 –> 00:31:22.000
And i’ve used this like several times when you’re walking down your path.

00:31:22.000 –> 00:31:28.000
The passive success, and the path to a nervous breakdown is separated by a razor.

00:31:28.000 –> 00:31:37.000
Thin line is very easy as you’re walking down doing the things that you’re responsible for doing the demands of every day.

00:31:37.000 –> 00:31:46.000
It’s very easy to slip over that line into a nervous breakdown, and that’s why it’s so important to have the clarity in and around how you’re crafting your narrative what that

00:31:46.000 –> 00:31:54.000
success is gonna look like who’s gonna be along with you in that journey, all of those things that lead into our narrative.

00:31:54.000 –> 00:32:03.000
You’ve got to be so careful on that and how You’re developing, and how you’re actually walking down that road and like you said, you gotta find somebody that’s already been there.

00:32:03.000 –> 00:32:17.000
Right. It’s already down. that and that’s really the key takeaway, I think, from what we’ve been saying is is really getting started.

00:32:17.000 –> 00:32:21.000
Zig Ziggler says you don’t have to be great to get started.

00:32:21.000 –> 00:32:25.000
We have to start to be great if you know where you want to be.

00:32:25.000 –> 00:32:34.000
If you want to be more successful, if you want to be, and a bigger house, you want to be in a better job, you want to.

00:32:34.000 –> 00:32:41.000
What it is that you once, if it isn’t something that you feel right now.

00:32:41.000 –> 00:32:50.000
Is there you really want to be thinking? Well, am I looking at the situation the right way, right? like we were saying the false narrative.

00:32:50.000 –> 00:32:55.000
If we’re looking at it in a way that’s in a better position.

00:32:55.000 –> 00:33:05.000
Now at least we Have The here’s the key that we need now, let’s go unlock the door and see where we’re gonna go from.

00:33:05.000 –> 00:33:14.000
There. So, Tim, let me ask you. a lot of people right now that have been listening to our conversation are probably wondering.

00:33:14.000 –> 00:33:24.000
I wanna find out more i’m ready to take that next step I’m just not sure how now I can even figure out Where’s my block?

00:33:24.000 –> 00:33:33.000
What am I really not? How can they get more information? Wow!

00:33:33.000 –> 00:33:44.000
The the challenge that I have in in and around this topic is that everybody’s in a different place, and everybody’s able to accept different things at different times in their lives.

00:33:44.000 –> 00:33:56.000
And we. We express this throughout the podcast, if you are at a position where you have had a breakdown a nervous breakdown. I would recommend first of all, getting some medical help or some mental health.

00:33:56.000 –> 00:34:05.000
So there’s a there’s an extreme difference between somebody that has already gone down and had this kind of a breakdown versus somebody that is just looking for clarity.

00:34:05.000 –> 00:34:16.000
So I want to be really careful, because by giving and saying where’s that next step depending on where you’re at in your journey, and depend on the situation in your lives, you may be in different points so I want you to take what

00:34:16.000 –> 00:34:20.000
i’m gonna say what i’m about to say just as Okay, what is gonna be best to fit for me?

00:34:20.000 –> 00:34:32.000
So, for example, one, if it’s that extreme case or if there’s been some situation where it’s been a and a like a really a truly a mental breakdown, then you need to find professional help, if it’s hey?

00:34:32.000 –> 00:34:40.000
I want more clarity. then what I would recommend is look specifically for a mentor, somebody that’s willing to come alongside with you.

00:34:40.000 –> 00:34:42.000
If it’s something that you’re looking at saying hey?

00:34:42.000 –> 00:34:44.000
I just want to be able to do that to for myself.

00:34:44.000 –> 00:34:50.000
Put a plan together in regards to how you’re going to educate yourself and grow in for specific areas.

00:34:50.000 –> 00:34:57.000
So when I teach, I talk about building blocks, and and the very first building block is, how do you build yourself?

00:34:57.000 –> 00:35:04.000
There are 4 pillars in that. First of all, you need to grow spiritually, mentally, physically, and socially.

00:35:04.000 –> 00:35:10.000
And those 4 areas put a plan together. that’s saying I am going to build my network this way.

00:35:10.000 –> 00:35:15.000
I’m going to plan my physical health this way i’m going to teach and learn.

00:35:15.000 –> 00:35:27.000
So the mental growth this way, and then spiritually is your internal and you have to be able to listen to the internal part of you, and so often in our society, specifically i’ll even say men i’ll call men out we don’t

00:35:27.000 –> 00:35:32.000
listen to our souls. We don’t listen to our internal but we just keep going.

00:35:32.000 –> 00:35:39.000
You have to be willing to listen to those 4 areas. So let me sum that up one if you need it, find professional help, 2.

00:35:39.000 –> 00:35:46.000
If you have the means and the ability find somebody that’s a mentor, somebody that’s a coach that can walk you through these life disciplines.

00:35:46.000 –> 00:35:56.000
This life growth. If you want to do it on your own focus on those 4 areas and and put a plan together to be able to build those 4 areas.

00:35:56.000 –> 00:36:09.000
Tim, now that our listeners no what those steps are and those 4 areas that they need to be paying attention to, though somebody wants to reach out to you.

00:36:09.000 –> 00:36:16.000
What’s the best way for them to was was that how you asked the first question, and I messed it up.

00:36:16.000 –> 00:36:22.000
If they want to reach out directly to me. I do have contact forms on my website, Tim Curlcom.

00:36:22.000 –> 00:36:29.000
I’m also available on all the social channels if you do a if you just do a search for me, i’m literally just about everywhere.

00:36:29.000 –> 00:36:35.000
So Facebook linkedin Instagram just spell my name out t am.

00:36:35.000 –> 00:36:39.000
And the last name is Cr. Ol. if you go to the website it’s Com.

00:36:39.000 –> 00:36:44.000
You can find me on Facebook and all the other areas. Thank you.

00:36:44.000 –> 00:36:59.000
And so it’s really important again to to stress what was saying, if you’re in a position of the stress Now seek the appropriate medical person.

00:36:59.000 –> 00:37:04.000
Professional help where appropriate when you’re ready to start making the change.

00:37:04.000 –> 00:37:20.000
Otherwise what you really need. to be doing, though is looking at how you’re going to be getting started very often taking the thought of action as a lot to start.

00:37:20.000 –> 00:37:33.000
But if you don’t take action just thought and that’s the key you need to get started as Wayne Gregsky says, just to throw another quote out there, you Miss 100% of the shots you don’t

00:37:33.000 –> 00:37:43.000
take so if You’re not going to be getting started and you’re not going to be willing to put the hard work in to make those changes.

00:37:43.000 –> 00:37:51.000
It’s going to be really problematic in getting anywhere other than where you are right now.

00:37:51.000 –> 00:38:04.000
Again, like we said before if you’re stuck because you’re seeing the same things and your neural synapse, says somebody said something to you, and the neural synap says you’re going to get all defensive in

00:38:04.000 –> 00:38:08.000
nature or you’re gonna withdraw and you’re gonna be hurt.

00:38:08.000 –> 00:38:24.000
Nothing is going to change if you do make It happen if you don’t pay attention to certain other queues same idea, and I know that it’s very very different.

00:38:24.000 –> 00:38:30.000
But I just wanted to draw a similarity to someone who’s on the autism spectrum.

00:38:30.000 –> 00:38:40.000
If somebody is on the spectrum they don’t know necessarily if there acting inappropriately, unless somebody is reminding them.

00:38:40.000 –> 00:38:47.000
But this is inappropriate behavior, or that they need to be looking people more in the eye.

00:38:47.000 –> 00:38:56.000
As an example that that is more the social cute. They may miss some of those emotional queues; they may not be empathetic.

00:38:56.000 –> 00:39:12.000
There may not be a lot of different things you need to be looking at how you are and what you’re doing, and how that’s going to make a difference if you can be paying attention to it. you can be making a change again.

00:39:12.000 –> 00:39:19.000
You have to get started, though, to do that. So, Tim, I want to thank you once again for being my guess.

00:39:19.000 –> 00:39:35.000
I think that this was certainly a really incredible and enlightening conversation, and i’m sure that our listers got a lot of benefit, and what I would even encourage you to do is go back and listen to this episode again now that

00:39:35.000 –> 00:39:42.000
you’ve heard it for what we discussed in the content listen for the new ones.

00:39:42.000 –> 00:39:54.000
See if there’s something that you can we find what is it in what we discuss that can really start having a dramatic impact.

00:39:54.000 –> 00:40:10.000
Remember, Tim was saying, the whole Lego masters and being the production master, or the production

00:40:10.000 –> 00:40:21.000
Right. All of these different pieces are really important in your story, maybe different ways that you look at it.

00:40:21.000 –> 00:40:28.000
But at the end of the day you’ve got your story and it’s yours to tell the challenges Go back.

00:40:28.000 –> 00:40:48.000
Listen. See what you can do, and see if you can be a better version of yourself.

On that note, this has been another episode of MOJO: The Meaning of Life & Business and until next time, here’s to your success.